Why do so many women who work outside the home?
Question by Claudia: Why do so many women who work outside the home?
have the need to try to pressure other women who are happy being homemakers to go out and work? I’m very happy to be able to stay home with my kids, but so many women who work keep trying to convince me to get a “real” job, while at the same time they constantly complain bitterly about how much they hate their jobs. What gives? If putting your kids in daycare and holding a job is so great, why do they complain so much about their jobs? and why do they keep trying to convince me to do what they are doing? It is not like me being home is costing them any money since my husband is the one who is supporting me and our kids. Does anyone have any idea?
Pearl – my marriage is very stable and I don’t think I should base my decisions on the possibility of a divorce, if I was thinking all the time about that I wouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. Apart from that I have an education, so I could get a job if I wanted to or had to.
Creepy cupcake – I understand that many women don’t have a choice so they have to work, but that’s not my case. My husband has a very good income so I don’t get why these women are so worked up about me not getting a job.
Lynn – Have you ever heard of life insurance?
And I suppose you have also heard of employer sponsored life insurance? You know, the kind where you get a few million if something happens?
Moxy Girl – If you feel so empowered, why do you need to pressure other women to do the same thing you are doing…..insecurity perhaps? Hummm…
Moxy Girl – If you feel so empowered, why do you need to pressure other women to do the same thing you are doing…..insecurity perhaps? Hummm…
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11 Responses to Why do so many women who work outside the home?
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They think they are empowering those women or liberating them from dependency on men. That is pretty much the truth of it. I don’t see where being a willing housewife/SAHM became oppression but that is how some of them see it, apparently.
Temple
October 7, 2013 at 11:34 am
I love my job. If you want to stay at home, that’s entirely up to you, but if your marriage breaks down and your husband balks at supporting you (just listen to men on here b*tching about THAT one), I have a major objection to having to support you through my taxes.
ADD I’m not suggesting your marriage isnt stable, just giving my opinion on the matter, to which I am entitled. I’m already supporting my ex’s g/f
Pearl
October 7, 2013 at 11:41 am
If you are happy doing the hardest job in the world, let the haters hate! If you are in the enviable position to be able to stay home with your children, it’s the best thing for them and you. Most women these days don’t have that choice, so maybe they envy you.
Tracy
October 7, 2013 at 12:20 pm
It sounds like a specific person might be the culprit here- a friend or relative perhaps?
Ask her next time- ask her why she feels this way.
She may just be projecting some kind of fears/ emotions onto you. Maybe she secretly desires to stay home with her kids.
Maybe she is worried about you in some way.
For some women and some families (there are stay at home Dads too) the parent care giver is the best option. For other families its best for the parents to work and find daycare. Both ways have positive aspects and some downsides. Each family gets to choose that for themselves.
ScienceGal
October 7, 2013 at 12:49 pm
Many people want others to do the same things they are doing. I don’t know why that is, but it is. Unmarried people are continually asked when they’re going to settle down, those without children are harrassed about getting pregnant, and it seems like those who don’t work at jobs are frequently encouraged to get one.
I don’t care if you stay at home with your children. That isn’t a life that holds appeal for me, but if you can do that, good for you! I know several women who do that, and in some of their cases, I think it’s great, but other times, I don’t think it’s so hot. If you can afford to stay at home, if you’re not in a position where you’re barely making it, then great! Children benefit greatly from having their parents around. If your family’s day to day life in uncertain because there isn’t enough money coming in, then someone needs to bring in more money. I’ve seen both situations. In the second, I don’t think staying at home is really serving anyone other than the woman who just doesn’t want to work.
melouofs
October 7, 2013 at 1:25 pm
This is a good question.
My mother stayed at home and raised my brothers and I while my father worked. I really believe I had an amazing childhood, she did so much for us and I appreciate her more than anything else in this world. So much so I would even consider doing the same when I have a family.
Being a good mother is a job, and a tough one at that. I honestly think some people out there believe ‘home makers’ as you say it just sit around doing nothing. Its quite the opposite really.
Who cares about what those people say anyway. You have the best job in the world! Bringing up and caring for your kids, teaching them to be happy, educated and positive people.
Jesssss
October 7, 2013 at 2:23 pm
You have your extremists on both ends of the spectrum… Many MRAs/anti-feminists are condemning women for working outside the home, as well. Many MRAs call the stay at home wife/mother a “parasite”, and a “Cherry picking feminist”.
The whole idea around feminism was for women to have a choice. For women to do what is best for them, their children, their family and their husband, and NOT what is best to further some sort of movement, whether it’s feminism or the men’s rights movement.
dark eyes
October 7, 2013 at 3:01 pm
In the UK when your youngest child reaches 5 (school age) you are not entitled to any welfare benefits for 1 earner households apart from child benefit (£20 a week per child). If the main breadwinner is on a low income before the youngest child is 5 the family will get family tax credits so that the Mother can stay at home. This is to enable children to get the best start in life and to have a stay at home Mother, it also gives the Mother time to breastfeed the children for the recommended 2 years. After that women are expected to find a part-time job that fits with school hours and they are switched to job-seeker’s allowance until they do. Not all men make enough money to support a household, and many women are forced to take up part-time jobs to help pay the bills. I might have to start working when my daughter starts school unless by chance I become pregnant again then I will have to start working when that child starts school as I don’t want any more than 2 as we cannot afford it.
People are probably going to get offended by this but many Mothers are a little bit self-centred. Their pride matters more to them than anything else and they go back to work and stick their baby on a bottle and don’t even try to breastfeed or spend all day with their baby. Of course I would never say this in real life as it’s not my business how other people raise their children but that is my unspoken opinion offline. I don’t think it’s right to leave your child in a daycare if you seriously have the choice not too, whether the option you are presented with is frowned upon or not. It’s bad for the child’s emotional development to be away from it’s Mother so young.
Also many couples have a breadwinner with a good income but they are stuck with a heavy mortgage or they have a mortgage contract. Unless you rent you are often not entitled to government help as you own capital. To be honest these days I would never bother buying a home unless I won the lottery or something. I don’t want to fall into that trap of belonging to the bank. I am quite traditional and I think that whilst I am raising the children it should not be my responsibility or my financial burden. However in the age of ‘gender equality’ society does not see it this way. Women are merely worker bees before they are Mothers according to most people. I admit the UK is a lot better with Mothers at the moment than a lot of other countries because of the protections that children have before the child starts school and they have a right to a stay at home parent much of the time but Ian Duncan Smith is doing all he can to sabotage this, sadly. He’s a very nasty, selfish man and there is a special place in hell for people like him. He would rather low income women or single Mothers stick their baby in daycare than the emotional, spiritual, physical and mental well being of children and the future generation. If you ask me that’s an important investment but they would rather spend it on less important things like on their lifestyles. Words cannot describe how much I hate this rotten Tory government. They are hardcore feminists.
edit:
they’re feminists, what do you expect? They don’t like anything unless it’s seen as ‘progressive’. They are ruining society. MRAs are just as awful.
creepy cυpcaĸe♥ xox
October 7, 2013 at 3:12 pm
I don’t I think u should feel empowered no Matter what you are doing
pico
October 7, 2013 at 3:56 pm
In today’s workplace, if you haven’t been working in a few years, your skills and employability deteriorate to almost nothing. Maybe you were great on various software that was out 10 years ago. However, those skills are just about useless today.
Maybe your marriage is 100% happy and stable. For your sake, I hope it is. But in my circle of female friends, I know of at least half a dozen women who have been widowed (some quite young) or the husband developed medical problems where he was unable to work at all. So these women had to go out to work again, and this time, they had to take jobs where they had to wear a paper hat, because they didn’t have the skills and contacts that other women had.
Edit: Yes, I’ve heard of life insurance. Most policies are written under the assumption that the surviving partner is willing to work outside the home again. It’s possible to buy enough insurance to enable the surviving partner to live without working, but doing so will mean that you are making huge payments on a long-term, long odds gamble. You can also buy annuities for the risk that one or both partners will become disabled enough to be incapable of working. Again, you’ll be paying a huge amount in premiums and usually not getting much value for your money.
Lynn Bodoni
October 7, 2013 at 4:09 pm
Well, I just don’t see what is wrong about being empowered to have a job or profession as a woman. There’s nothing bad about it. Why would you still wanna be stuck in the Middle Ages?
MoxyGirl
October 7, 2013 at 4:29 pm