What to do with your child watching porn?
Question by Robert R.: What to do with your child watching porn?
My mother recently passed away and since then I have been raising my 11 going on 12 year old sister. I don’t consider myself a strict parent at all, but I was on her computer today and found google searches for porn. I found it while using the HIstory option and found the porn searches. The problem is I think she might just be curious. The searches at first was just for “what is a penis?” or “what is a vagina?’ to other things. None of them though were anything like hardcore, bestiality or anything like that. I’ve been thinking of giving her the birds and the bees talk for a while now, especially since she turns 12 next week, but I’m worried. Part of the problem is that I don’t feel right calling her out on the porn because
1) I watch it too
2) It’s my sister
3) She really wasn’t looking on anything that bad.
Like I said just google searches, that started out as innocent questions but led too slightly riskier things. I also don’t feel right criticizing her about what she’s looking at because I personally don’t feel porn is anything bad. That’s part of the human body. I’m just worried if she’s anything like me because I watch it a lot and I know for a fact that if she wants to get it, it’s not going to be hard to get it even at her age.This is America after all. I just rather that she learns from me rather than a porno & does something she might regret. I want to be a responsible parent for her but giving the birds and the bees talk is hard when you’re siblings not father/daughter. What are your opinions?
By the way, no matter what I am going to put stricter settings on the computer.
Feel free to answer in the comment section below
11 Responses to What to do with your child watching porn?
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You have to call her out on it, sorry. And have a serious sex talk because now she’s seen so much…Porn is different than just being curious about what a penis is.
♥ Indigo ♥
February 6, 2014 at 8:09 pm
Don’t worry about it. She’s just curious. Maybe you could politely bring it up, but don’t embarrass her.
Bianca
February 6, 2014 at 8:58 pm
I’ve got to admit, when I was her exact age, I would do the same thing, but not for porn, just for lesbian make out things on youtube. And youtube won’t allow porn so it wasnt that bad. It was still inappropriate. Don’t confront her! I remember when I was confronted by my dad and older sister, my face and ears turned red and it was embarrassing. Just have her understand that it’s bad, but don’t let her know you know about her doings.
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February 6, 2014 at 9:19 pm
Don’t say a word about finding the searches. My mother passed away when I was 10 and my dad raised me and my two sisters.. I didn’t have anyone to turn to about my sex ed questions so I resorted to books and the net myself to figure it out.. I mean you hear things at school and it’s only human to wonder what they are talking about. I am sure she doesn’t feel comfortable just coming and asking you.. shes just a child. It is definitely time to have the talk with her.. my mother did when I was young (maybe 9 or so.. I am not sure how old I was but I remember her having it with me) she bought a book and explained it all to me with pictures and all.. but the way a health professional would explaining how kids are born (with pictures of a woman’s body rather than ‘when mom and dad want to have a child’) it is high time for that talk and let her know she can come to you about Anything and to not be embarrassed.. let her know it’s only natural to wonder..
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February 6, 2014 at 9:59 pm
Sounds like plain old curiosity to me. She has or is about to hit puberty. I’d have your wife or a close female relative of hers give her the talk about sex and pregnancy. Best her hear if from a trusted adult than from the television or kids at school. And hearing it from a female perspective would also be best. Since it won’t make you or her feel as uncomfortable,especially when it comes to her asking questions.
Timid Women Rarely Make History
February 6, 2014 at 10:14 pm
don’t tell her you found it. That will only embarass her and cause he to hide her activity next time. You want her to be able to talk to you about her questions. I’d just continue with the talks you have been having and ask her if she has any questions. There are tons of books out there geared for girls her age. Maybe buy her one and give it to her. Explain you were shy about sex / development questions at her age so you thought a book might help. Explain you are always available to talk to her “as a sister” whenever she is ready.
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February 6, 2014 at 10:34 pm
i have to agree with some of the ohters answer, most people at around the age of 12 get quite curious about this kind of stuff.
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February 6, 2014 at 11:20 pm
I would explain to her that while curiosity is normal and just fine, there are activities that can get out of hand and hurt her is she doesn’t know. As awkward as it might be you know you have to do it and not beat around the bush for awkward subjects. Tell her the sooner she starts having sex the risker it is for STD’s and teen pregnancy so that although her body may want physical things, she should find other ways to cope with it than with boys
About porn, even though you watch it, it doesn’t make it a good thing for her to view it. You are an adult and realize the difference between fantasy and reality whereas she may have a harder time distinguishing between the two.
Maybe you can get her a book about puberty and the changes her (and boys) bodies go through and that will help her learn and satisfy some curiosity. If you open the door to communication the chances of her talking to you about personal things she needs advice on it much greater.
Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck. It is very commendable of you to take to raising her!
Kimberly R
February 6, 2014 at 11:55 pm
Why don’t you show her a video about it?
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Hopeless Romantic [suspended]
February 7, 2014 at 12:50 am
i wouldn’t bother calling it out, it is just out of curiousity. I wouldn’t embarrass her with it then in the future she will most likely not come to you for help with those matters. Like i said it is probably just curiousity.
Jack Bauer
February 7, 2014 at 12:59 am
Don’t confront her. She sounds like any kid that age, just curious about what boys and other girls’ bodies look like, and how sex works. Porn isn’t a good way to find out that stuff, for sure, but confronting her is only going to make her absolutely mortified, and chances are she’ll keep searching for ‘that’ stuff only she’ll take more care to do it secretly.
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February 7, 2014 at 1:11 am