I have the feeling my 14 year old daughter wants to have sex..?
Question by Susie S: I have the feeling my 14 year old daughter wants to have sex..?
I have talked to her about stds and stuff, but I don’t know what else to do. I am a clueless 26 year old raising a teenager for crying out loud!
I am not her birth mother, her mom died years ago and I am her godmother..
Feel free to answer in the comment section below
26 Responses to I have the feeling my 14 year old daughter wants to have sex..?
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you had her when you were 12?
Holly B
April 19, 2013 at 11:22 pm
uh huh..
Apricot Lover
April 19, 2013 at 11:25 pm
Just say no… and tell her why it’s a bad choice.
Kay D
April 19, 2013 at 11:31 pm
riiiiight…
UVA Rocks Hokies SUCK!
April 20, 2013 at 12:14 am
Say “Look at me. I apparently had you when I was twelve, do you want kids now?”
Bethany ♥'s her Superman
April 20, 2013 at 12:14 am
the best thing to do is talk to her about it because if you make it seem like its so bad shes just going to want to do it more!
so talk to her. shes not going to want to talk at first but talk to her. and its hormones
!*mrs.too cool*!
April 20, 2013 at 12:16 am
Maybe you could go to planned parenthood to get some ideas about how to talk to your teen about sex. I’d call there, and see if you could be counseled, and maybe get some pamphlets. Just make sure you’re included, don’t just throw pamphlets at her, and let her sort it out herself. Then, put her on the pill ,and buy her a box of condoms.
Coco L
April 20, 2013 at 12:53 am
put her on the pill make sure she uses condoms other than that just tell her what a bad choice it is and let her make her own choices did you really have her when you were 12?
Maria
April 20, 2013 at 1:10 am
I think the best thing would be to teach her to respect herself and share some of your expierences and why you think she should wait, like emotional consequences.
Tell her she’s worth more, and worth the wait. Try to keep open and honest communication with her. Give her a time where she can say anything to you freely without getting upset, like a safe zone on a regular basis. So she can talk to you about where shes coming from and know that you’ll listen and be there for her.
Remember what it was like at that age and try to relate to her best you can, otherwise you’ll just sound like a nagging mom and wont want to listen.
K P
April 20, 2013 at 1:15 am
this is a very sitiutaion not to be taken lightly….You need to kinda get your message across without being to harsh or comabant. I would suggest an outing to a pregnacy class to show her what sex can lead to, the money it takes to raise a child the SLEEP one will lose and the patience and scarifice that one gives all for there child. Its good to know she has a concered mother. but dont over do it best of luch and hope
Joe R
April 20, 2013 at 2:05 am
Perhaps you can explain to her how your life would have been different had you waited to have sex until you knew you were in a relationship that would last.
Also explain that no method of birth control is 100% effective, and as her what she would do if she were to become pregnant.
Titchaba
April 20, 2013 at 2:58 am
Talk to her every day!!! i lostmy virginity when i was 12 and i regret it and wished my mom had talked to me!!! now im 18 and have a 3 month old…I wish i could talk to all teens who are having sex or thinking about having sex….tell her to wait at least until she has someone speacial. AND TELL HER THAT HAVING SEX WITH A BOY WILL NOT MAKE HIM WANT TO BE HER BOYFRIEND!!! GOOD LUCK!!
oxchicxo
April 20, 2013 at 3:55 am
I think honesty is the way to go, tell her that you didn’t always make good choices – tell her that you will always answer her questions as honestly as you can, but that you want her to talk to you and let you know if and when she feels that she may start having sex.
Make sure you know her boyfriend, talk to her about condoms, the pill, STD’s, being responsible, talk to her about getting a bad reputation.
Good Luck – you’re going to need it!
snowbarbie
April 20, 2013 at 4:20 am
If my calculations are right your age means you had your daughter when you where just 12 yrs old ???? Id be more concerned about her getting pregnant.
I guess you managed somehow maybe with support from family. Perhaps you can explain to her the hardships that you endured with her when she was a baby.Lets face it a baby having a baby.Best to be honest with her and try to be her friend she is more likely to tell you why she wants to have sex? Is it pressure from her boyfriend ,peer pressure,attention seeking ??????????????
Let me know what happens either way. if she really is determined to have sex she will find a away to get what she wants with or without your permission.
nana3
April 20, 2013 at 4:31 am
Teach her birth control! NOW!
That is all you can do!
I feel for you, as I was a young single Mom, too!
It is not easy, I know!
Love her even more!
Be there, even when “you can’t!”
You can, and will, if you want to!
Bless!
DORY
April 20, 2013 at 5:08 am
hmmm, well i think you get her on the pill just in case she somehow manages to have sex. feed her the pill every single day (dont leave it up to her to take it). this will prevent an upcoming abortion which would be emotionally traumatic for her.
other than that DO NOT LET HER OUT OF YOUR SITE. no going out with friends. they (girls only of course) can come to your house and only when you are home. have severe consequences if she breaks these rules.
remember that you are the parent and she is still a child and she definitely does not know what is best for her. continue to show affection to her (Lots) and spend a lot of time with her. girls who want to have sex this young are usually looking for affection and love and dont realize the consequences.
good luck and remember to be strong. you are the parent and you have every right to keep a very tight hold on her. she will thank you years from now believe me.
nico l
April 20, 2013 at 5:57 am
Tell her about your experiences, considering that you had her when you were 12.
Oh, I see your not her biological mother. Try to get your hands on one of those baby dolls that they use in classes. The baby is like a real baby that she has to take care of.
SAMMY
April 20, 2013 at 6:07 am
i think you need to have a discussion about the birds and the bees and how difficult it is for you as a young girl to raise a child.
dlmissinglink
April 20, 2013 at 6:46 am
tell her about how stds are pass how to have safe sex
what guys will say to get in her pants
and just tell her to talk to you when she is ready to have sex
tell her to do it for herself and love
and keep a strong bond with her
Serena Y
April 20, 2013 at 7:05 am
There is a great show from Lifetime called “15 and pregnant” have her watch it. Search to find it and rent it or buy it. It is a good movie and not really cheesy either. Then all you can do is educate her which you have and wish for the best. I lost my virginity at 15 and regretted it from the moment it happened. But the bottom line is you need to address the issue with her and make sure she is not being pressured into this. That is what happened to me, if I had simply had a little bit of encouragement that it was OK not to, it may have turned out differently for me.
Miss Coffee
April 20, 2013 at 7:53 am
Just be honest with her, so she knows the consequences and just talk to her about sex and hormones. She’s young and confused, and probably misses her mom too especially in the times when she is growing up and this is the time when girls talk to their moms. Hope she doesn’t rebel and do anything drastic. Do the best you can and be supportive. Just so she knows she can talk to you.
Lexie J
April 20, 2013 at 8:39 am
go big or go home is what i always say… hope that helps out somehow
Justwatch
April 20, 2013 at 9:02 am
i don’t think u can do anthink about it :S i had sex before i was 12 y/o and there was or is nothing my parents can do to stop it, …..
the best thing u can do is teach her about STDs and condoms, that’s what my cousin did , and i’m 15 , no prego, and without STDs 😉
Aly
April 20, 2013 at 9:09 am
how did you have a 14 yr old, unless you adopted her, well just remimd her that pre marital is a sin.. and that if shes gonna do it she should do it safely!
jell w
April 20, 2013 at 9:27 am
Keep talking to her and make her feel like she can talk to you and ask you questions. She will remember your words even when she’s tempted, but the more you talk to her in an open way the better. Remind her to respect herself and why she should wait other than just stds, which to me is more scare tactics. There are better reasons that really mean a lot more and work a lot better if you can get through to her. But like my father-in-law and I were talking the one day it’s amazing how hearing something from someone other than your parent makes it actually sink in sometimes. Good luck
Di
April 20, 2013 at 10:23 am
Talk to her about all the negative ramifications of sex, including the emotional ones, and the negative way she’ll be perceived.
Also, keep a close watch on her and limit her. Make sure you know where she is, who she’s with and that she’s supervised. Expect that she will lie to you and check up on her, insist on talking to the parent of the child’s house she’s at, etc.
But, in the end, it’s her decision b/c no one can really control another person completely. Do you best but don’t beat yourself up over it. She will have to make her own decisions and bear the consequences.
Scary McBeastie
April 20, 2013 at 11:12 am