can someone help me make this essay better its an analysis?

Question by CelticsGarnett MVP: can someone help me make this essay better its an analysis?
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In Black Men in Public Places, Brent Staples successfully grabs the reader’s attention through out every sentence, he does this by the means of his descriptive, piercing and attention grabbing words, by informing his readers that black men are often perceived as dangerous violent and even hostile in the publics eyes of today’s society. Brent Staples keeps the attention of his reader by allowing them to paint a vivid picture with the detail he puts in every sentence ; therefore this helps his reader to get a sense of his experiences, not by words alone. Brent purposely informs his audience about his personal experiences and what has been done to over come many obstacles. In his voice he uses an inoffensive, clean, and harmless tone while informing. He presents all his sentences with experiences and well supported facts.
The main purpose Brent brought to his essay was mainly to inform readers about the effect that stereotype has on black men, how it has come to affect his life, and to inform and gain understanding that many stereotypes can be untrue. He sent his whole purpose of the essay with evidence. He presents to the reader that he has become a stereotype when he tells about the encounter with the white woman, he lets the reader know for that reason, the woman drew scarred because of how he looked. He brings this very well; through experience and his life alone. When Brent says that she thought herself a mugger, rapist or worst, he advise his readers about what many people think about black men in public. He then lets knowb that this is untrue in his case and supported when he tells that he is a softy that is unable to take a knife to raw chicken, let alone to a person’s throat. The main meaning Brent brought to his essay was mainly to inform readers about the effect that stereotype has on black men, how it has come to affect his life, and to inform and gain understanding that many stereotypes can be perhaps be untrue. He then brings out to his readers that he has become a stereotype when he tells about the encounter with the white woman, he explains to his readers that he is a tall youngish black man and for that reason the woman grew scarred because of the way he looked and the color of his skin . When Brent makes clear that she thought herself a mugger, rapist or worst, he presents to the reader what many people think when coming in public contact with a black man. Hence his purpose informed readers with evidence that black men fall into many stereotypes. He then presents that this is untrue in his case when he tells that he is a softy that is unable to take a knife to raw chicken, let alone to a person’s throat. From his purpose in presenting that can let the reader grow understanding that many black men can be harmless. In Brent’s
last purpose he wants the reader to know how stereotypes affect black men. He says “Then there were the standard unpleasantries with policemen, doormen, bouncers, cabdrivers, and others whose business it is to screen out troublesome individuals before there is any nastiness” With this quote alone he tells that black men have to always watch their back, this purpose was to let readers know the affect stereotypes have on black men.
Moreover Brent Staples presents himself as a highly educated individual. He is very detailed oriented; he lays down his sentences with the use of adjectives to the point of the reader almost feeling as if they had witnessed the situation. Brent’s voice is playful yet serious, funny and soft. Brent explains in the situation with the white women that he was surprised, embarrassed and dismayed after women running from him; this gives the impression that he is a sensitive person. He spoke of the women making him feel like an accomplice in tyranny; Brent gives an emotional soft and genital part of his personality by explaining to the reader about his emotions. Brent states “where fear and weapons meet- and they often do in urban America- there is always the possibility of death.” Brings out a calm part of his personality, he doesn’t seem angry about being viewed in this way, yet understanding. The Understanding comes when Brent speaks of women fearing the worst of him, he doesn’t show anger towards a certain group, but explains that they have reasons to feel in that way, the understanding is brought out in the quote “I understand of course, that the danger they perceive is not a hallucination. Women are particularly vulnerable to street violence, and young black males are drastically overrepresented among the perpetrators of that violence.” The use of big words gives off that Brent is a intelligent young man. He brought out a bit of sarcasm, when speaking of the women who brought out the huge Doberman pincher in the jewelry store, more than often, many people would have showed anger in this situation, but not him he makes a nod at her and waves goodbye.
The methods used by Brent were adequate; he used ways to present his story to the reader that allowed them to gain compassion and empathy. The first paragraph grabbed the reader’s attention, with the words “my first victim was a white woman” those words alone, can catch most audience attention. His method was much like a timeline, presented the beginning of his realization that he was part of a stereotype and the end of how he dealt with it. As a result this keeps the interest of the reader.
Brent Staples presents his point successfully, not once does he use the word stereotype in his essay but yet, the main 3.
idea is clear to the reader. His point was clearly presented in detail through out the essay. As Brent explains after the incident with the woman that he is a Tall black man, and she thought her self a mugger or rapist, this clearly presents that the essay was about stereotype, the reader can quickly sense what the rest of the essay contains. Brent presents evidence when speaking of an a time he was mistaken for a burglar. “The most frightening of these confusions occurred in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s, when I worked as a journalist in Chicago. One day, rushing was mistaken for a burglar.” In the sentence alone, Brent effectively uses enough evidence to prove that the whole essay was his whole imagination.
Moreover the way Brent presented the first encounter to the result, made the essay worth reading. He provide evidence and well supported facts to inform his reader that good and bad people are all apart of sterotype.

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