Son in his room with another boy locks the door and takes while to open?
Question by Church of Corinth: Son in his room with another boy locks the door and takes while to open?
hello my son is only 15 and i am very concerned he may be doing drugs in his room, whenever his friend comes over he locks his door and if i knock it takes several minutes for them to answer and he looks “:roughed up” kinda.. I also hear some strange noises then one telling the other to be quiet like they are trying to be sneaky. Do you think i should put a hidden camera in there or am i over reacting?
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10 Responses to Son in his room with another boy locks the door and takes while to open?
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You are overreacting. He’s probably just experimenting with his sexuality… kids will be kids.
Amanda
April 2, 2013 at 1:59 am
They’re probably just messing around I wouldn’t worry about it.
nathan
April 2, 2013 at 2:56 am
Change his doorknob so that there is no longer a lock on it.
Problem solved.
Lauren
April 2, 2013 at 3:31 am
him and his “friend” are gay, have a nice day!!
Hope
April 2, 2013 at 3:59 am
I think he is gay and don’t want to tell you yet. I wouldn’t worry about it too much then he will never tell you when he is about to be married. He probably want experiment his sexually. Its that age to be experiment about his sexually, so don’t worry about it at all, go on with your business and everything will be fine
Max
April 2, 2013 at 4:48 am
Just make it a rule, we don’t want your door closed when you have guests. If it is a problem they can go somewhere else. I have 5 kids and one is a 15 year old son, it got to the point where he just can not have friends over, so I know where you are coming from.
Michael
April 2, 2013 at 5:33 am
One of a few possibilities – playing video games, having bum sex, doing drugs, looking at porn, contemplating the meaning of life, planning a school massacre. Take the lock off his door. The only lockable door in my home is the toilet.
tenacious d
April 2, 2013 at 6:10 am
I’m sure other parents would disagree with me, but I would put a hidden camera in there as long as you’re mentally prepared for what you might see. You can also tell him that he needs to keep his door open while friends are there. If it is really bothering you I think it would be a good piece of mind for you to know what is going on.
michelle
April 2, 2013 at 6:45 am
Well putting a hidden camera in his room is going a bit far. If he finds out then he may not feel comfortable around you for a while and might lose some trust in you. However if you feel this is the right thing to do, then it’s completely your choice.
You should warn him about the dangers of drugs but make it seem discreet, perhaps bring it up while watching a show like CSI or House.
K-C-myx
April 2, 2013 at 6:53 am
Anything that involves spying, be it a hidden camera, audio recorder or anything else to that matter should be out of the option. As a parent, you should also think of your child’s right to privacy.On top of that, if it ever turns out that you learned anything from spying on him in his own room then this will leave a bitter taste between the two of you which will only lead to him having second opinions on trusting you in the future.
Since your son is living under your roof then you have every right to make or change the rules to a more protective or open situation which will make you feel more comfortable. The most logical thing would be for you to have a master key for all the locks in the household. That way you can easily have access to any closed doors in the house.Therefore, the next time he locks his room for too long you can make the decision on your own about whether to go in or not.Having a master key will also benefit you in the event of an emergency be it medical or a fire. So it is actually more of an obvious measure to take when you look at it finally.
But then again, do not forget that your son is only two-three years into being a teenager.This is the time where they start being obsessed about the changing world and new feelings around them which leads to an unexpected outburst in the privacy needs and time spent away from family.So this should not raise any direct alarm. I would doubt that they are watching pornography.The reason is simple. Early teenagers find sex a little taboo sometimes. Pornography is is usually watched when they are by themselves rather with someone else.Since he hears you knocking at the door and you hear nothing else but their voices then it is very doubtful that they are watching any movies of a sort.If they were doing drugs or at least smoking, you should have smelled something suspicious in the air or a heavy perfume smell in his room.Also do a bit of research about the signs of cocaine and mushroom use but please do not get carried away with the sings of a teenager turning into an adult.
Also, be open to your son.Have an open talk to him about teenage life and sexuality. He is surely too old for the story about the birds and the bees so openness is the best way. Also confront him with the issue surrounding the fact that he keeps his door locked when his friend is around and the suspicious noises they make.He will have to give you an answer about it whether it be an honest reply or just gibberish. From that point on, explain to him that there is no proper reason for him to do such a thing.You best ask him if he is gay ( but in a more gentle manner ). If he is not gay then for sure he will admit it on the spot and immediately will stop locking his door to prevent you from thinking about him that way. It will also be a good joke for him to share with his friends with no harm done to the relationship between the two of you. If how ever he does admit to being gay, then at least your mind would be in the clear and from there on you can determine your status on his relationship and maybe have some rules made for him and his friend when they are at your house.
Poussadife
April 2, 2013 at 7:15 am