why are some people just perpetual optimists?so happy and cheerful?
Question by zzzzzzzzzzzzzz: why are some people just perpetual optimists?so happy and cheerful?
i try and try and try and never get to that point!!and i feel odd around people that are that happy, i don’t understand them, they don’t understand me!! i think they lack depth, they think im odd or something because i have too much depth, ive been falling down a perennial well!!is it because they have had really great lives very often?
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14 Responses to why are some people just perpetual optimists?so happy and cheerful?
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they have balnace and perspective in their lives; perhaps u can work towards that
Jim G
December 22, 2013 at 2:42 am
they just don’t think very hard about things.
Drop the phone
December 22, 2013 at 2:58 am
fine line between a genius and a fool
bobcat 007
December 22, 2013 at 3:02 am
I consider myself an optimist, but I am not a cheerful person. Actually, I am prone to depression, so I make an active effort to find the best possible interpretation of anything that happens. If I didn’t, I’d probably be dead or in the hospital now. I know the kind of people you mean, and I am convinced their happiness is often a mask, hiding some great insecurity or pain. At least, I am thinking of one person in my life who I am pretty sure that is the case.
CNJRTOM
December 22, 2013 at 3:51 am
Try to find their perscription slip when you are next round their house
All will be revealed then
Wicker Man
December 22, 2013 at 4:01 am
bah, humbug
lily
December 22, 2013 at 4:50 am
We do not know what these people are like when they are away from you. Life has alternating waves of happiness and absence of happiness for everyone, when we are attached to externals. Inside we have permanent joy, not dependent upn externals, perhaps “forgotten” for awhile. More important than relative happiness is equanimity, lack of preferences, simple non-judgmental observing, “witnessing”. And personalities are different, but the one self of all stands by itself. How wonderful you are deep and not superficial!
Gerard M
December 22, 2013 at 5:31 am
I consider myself pretty much an optimist now, but I used to be the opposite. I was very pessimistic…seemed that if I got too happy something was bound to come along and knock me down and it’d hurt…so I just stayed in that negative place. It was an awful way to live. I taught myself, or conditioned myself to look at things differently. I learned to look for the good, rather than the bad in all situations. Sometimes it’s harder than others, but it’s a much better and more peaceful way to live. People used to not want to be around me because I was so negative. Now when I walk into a room it’s typical that everyone in the room will smile when they see me, because I’m almost always smiling and try to be positive. That makes others feel good too.
I can assure you it’s not because of some sort of great life…not for me anyway. I’ve had a very difficult life…moreso than a lot of other people I think. But I’ve just learned to look beyond that and see how very much, throughout it all, there remains many blessings and much reason for joy in my life.
Anne S
December 22, 2013 at 6:03 am
Obviously people are different from each other. That’s what makes us so interesting.
People vary in more than just looks. Your brain has developed a personality……Your brain and body produce a variety of chemicals that shape that personality. Some people are depressed too much and some just he opposite.]
Some are just serious while others are always playing the fool.
My point…….don’t worry, be yourself. Just don’t go around being so uptight you cant let your hair down and be happy with life.
If you can’t do that then you have issues.
Good luck
we_are_legion99
December 22, 2013 at 7:01 am
They pretend, they project the image of happiness, while dying on the inside.
Derek
December 22, 2013 at 7:02 am
Im the happy person that you dont understand lol I dont lack depth and my life has been really hard at times but here is the key, for me….
You have a choice everyday when you wake up either to be happy and enjoy the day or not. It makes for a better day if your happy.
(ok granted, you cant be happy 24/7…I have my days like that but for the most part Im happy)
🙂
Christie G
December 22, 2013 at 7:06 am
I’m always happy and excited about things. I don’t consider myself lackign depth.
I’m happy for a few reasons…
1. I woke up this morning.
2. I have a job, a wife, a place to sleep, and food to eat.
3. I exercise and stretch regularly.
4. I slept my 8 hours last night.
5. I appreciate the world around us.
6. I am always trying to improve myself.
7. I ACCEPT myself for who I am. *once you get this one, life gets better.
8. Life is fun. You should enjoy it.
Anyway, I lead a wonderful life and I love almost every minute of it. I’m just happy.
Davion2308
December 22, 2013 at 7:53 am
I cannot imagine who could have given you the idea that negativity equates to “depth”. Whoever it was, he or she has some badly distorted values and did you no favor by passing them along to you! It is almost a secular variation on the extreme religious dogma that preaches only misery is righteous and enjoying life is sinful. Only instead of “sinful” happiness now becomes “shallow” and instead of “righteous”, misery now become “deep”? Only the adjectives have changed – and changed precious little, at that!
Again, whoever put THAT nasty little bee in your bonnet ought to be taken out and shot! No, wait, shooting’s too good for them – boiled in oil or fed to a crocodile would be more appropriate. Or – even better yet – just left alone to live out the rest of their life mired in their own negativity and stewing in their own soured juices!
It is NOT that happy people just “have had really great lives very often”. I have known people who had what SHOULD have been great lives with prosperity, good fortune, the love and respect of those around them – in short, ALL the things that SHOULD make for “great lives” – who, in spite of it all, STILL never run out of ways to make and keep themselves miserable.
Conversely, I have known people who have led incredibly hard lives and still manage to love the world they live in.
People who ARE happy, are happy because THEY, THEMSELVES, – not “fate”, “destiny” or some other force outside their control – have MADE their lives great!
“why are some people just perpetual optimists?so happy and cheerful?”
Many of those who have responded before me are right – it IS a conscious CHOICE. Our personal quality of life lies not so much in what happens to us as in how we process it within our own minds and hearts.
Here’s an example I have cited in other answers, before:
Four people take the same short-cut across a parking lot on their drive to work every morning. One Monday morning, they each discover that the owner of the lot has installed raised parking bumps all over it.
Person A is devastated! ….. Her commute to work has been forever ruined! From that point on, she miserably takes the long way around and avoids the parking lot altogether. She sadly mourns the loss of her short-cut every morning as she drives by there.
Person B is angry. ….. He continues to take the short cut, but detours around the bumps by staying close to the edges of the lot. He gets angry every time he approaches the lot and emotionally steams all the rest of the way to work every morning.
Person C is oblivious. ….. He couldn’t care less as he roars across the bumps in his 4-wheel-drive macho-mobile. For him, the sudden appearance of the parking bumps is a completely neutral non-event.
Person D is delighted. ….. She sees the bumps as components in a new game. She enjoys dodging around them – even seeing how fast she can SAFELY and SENSIBLY do so. Their presence has enhanced rather than spoiled her daily commute. She looks forward to running her new personal slalom course every morning.
Each of these people faced the EXACT SAME situation, yet each CHOSE – yes, CHOSE(!) – to see it and internally process it in their own individual way. Each one of them COULD have taken the same psycho/emotional stance that any of the others took, but each one made his/her own inner choice and then lived with the results.
I am still reeling with shock from the bizarre concept of depression equaling “depth” and happiness equaling a lack of it! Could this be at the root of your problem? Has some person or some philosophy succeeded in convincing you – on a sub-conscious level – that if you let go of unnecessarily negative attitudes and started to enjoy life, that you would lose “depth” and become shallow? Has this questionable concept just made you afraid to start enjoying life for fear of being thought to lack “depth” if you do?
If so, don’t give it another thought! Start enjoying life and don’t worry about the outward appearances. There are plenty of “deep” people who completely enjoy life every day, and plenty of shallow people who stay thoroughly miserable most of the time. In fact, I would even say that the true, sincere enjoyment of life to its fullest extent REQUIRES a good measure of “depth” and shallowness is a natural lead-in to depression.
monarch butterfly
December 22, 2013 at 8:06 am
drop the judgment and see them as yourself instead!
picmybrain
December 22, 2013 at 8:25 am